Mussels

We are a seafood family. If you are expecting a joke about eating whatever we "see", while it would be fitting, that is not what I meant. We love food from the ocean: fish, lobster, crab, oysters, shrimp, scallops, calamari and tonight: mussels. Here's how we make them.

First, you have to buy fresh, meaning ALIVE mussels. They sometimes have them at our Kroger, but they always have them at Fresh Market. For those in Lexington, Charlie's Seafood should be on your phone. Do remember this: if it is alive, it is going to urinate. So if you buy them any length of time before you plan to cook them, you cannot store them in a regular bowl (unless a "pee marinade" sounds good to you). You have to store them in a colander over a bowl, so whatever comes out of them drains away from them. Put a bag of ice on top. Don't spill the contents of the reservoir bowl in your kitchen floor. When you're ready to cook, scrub them under cold water and remove anything clinging to the outside (it's called a beard and isn't edible). You'll need between one and two pounds for two people. As a side note, because keeping them from ending up in their own excrement is cumbersome, Anthony Bourdain won't eat mussels in restaurants; he says it's not worth the risk the staff didn't bother. Hard to argue. Make your own.

You also have to make croutons. While chocolate cake, marinara sauce and pancakes may be just as good from the grocery store, store-bought croutons taste like packing peanuts next to mine. I'll confess it is a little work, although simple. I slice up a french loaf, paint the rounds with olive oil and kosher salt and toast them under the broiler until browned (on high if I am paying attention, on low if the kids are in the house or a ballgame is on). These croutons are mindless, but the window between golden and charcoal isn't huge.

Next, I make the broth. To a stock pot, I add some squirts (about 3 tablespoons) of olive oil in which I cook down half an onion, cut into thin slices. Once the onion is soft, I add 2 teaspoons of fennel seeds, 4 minced garlic cloves and 1/2 a teaspoon of red pepper flakes (like in the shaker at Pizza Hut). After one minute, this should smell wonderful. Then I add a quartered lemon, 1/4 C parsley and 1 Cup of white wine (this leaves about 2/3 of the bottle; I expect you know what to do with the remainder while you are finishing this dish).

Once the broth boils (producing the steam we need), it is time to add the mussels. Pop them in and cover your pot. After about three minutes peek in to make sure some are opening and then stir them around. Three minutes later, take them all out, discarding the ones that failed to open (as they were dead to begin with and their consumption is not the healthy way to lose weight, although it would be quick and effective, albeit with some risk of death).

Once you have the mussels out and resting, bring the broth up to a boil and reduce it to concentrate the flavor (just a little). Then place 3 or 4 (maybe 5) croutons in each serving bowl, add some mussels and broth, and top it all with diced tomatoes and parsley. If you can maneuver a bite of broth soaked crouton into your mouth with a mussel and some of the garnish, you will be well rewarded.